The following is a letter I submitted to an intermediary on April 29, 1999. She guaranteed she could contact my mother (if still living) and would give this letter to her. I wanted any birthmothers who see this site to know how I feel, and for them to realize that their children probably feel the same way. I realize this is not the case for everyone, but at least I would like to think you can find some hope in what I wrote to my mother.
28 April, 1999
Dear Birthmother,
I’m really not sure where to begin. I have been actively searching for you for three years now. I have had a lot of fears about whether or not you wanted to see me. I hope you will. There’s a place in my life that only you can fill. So please at least hear me out.
As you know yesterday was my 29th birthday. I have always been curious about who you were, but a little over three years ago, my son was born. Yes, you have a grandchild. When my son was born, I realized exactly how important the parent/child relationship is. Though I’ve never met you, I long to be with you, to see you, to know you. No matter who raised me, you are my mother.
I know a lot of birthmothers are afraid that their children won’t want anything to do with them, or will have hard feelings toward them. That is not the case here. I understand that what you did, was out of love for me. I don’t know any of the circumstances around my birth or adoption, but I want you to know that I respect the decision you made for whatever reason you made it.
I have so many questions for you, as I’m sure you do for me. I’ll tell you a little about myself. My adoptive parents gave me the first name "Stewart" after my adoptive father. My family and friends all call me "Skip". I am a born again Christian. I have a wonderful wife, a 3-year old son, Nicholas. And three stepchildren, Michael, Heather, and Amber. I graduated from high school then served in the Marines from 1988 until 1992. I am a control room operator in a pulp mill. I have two sisters. One adopted and one my adoptive mom gave birth to. My hobbies include bible studies, computers, hunting, and fishing along with various other things.
I would love to meet you. However, I will understand and respect your right not to see me if you choose not to. I hope this doesn’t cause you any more hurt. That is not my intention.
Waiting for your reply, your son Skip
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